I want to start by saying that I’m honored to be apart of this Stolen Queens blog! Today I want to discuss an issue that near and dear to my heart and that’s the subject of self-love and why it’s such a critical part of everyone’s journey. I believe the relationship you have with yourself is more important than ANY other relationship, in fact your relationship with yourself will begin to dictate how those other relationship dynamics play out. Before we get into that, I want to tell you a little bit about the person speaking to you!
WHO: My name is Tiara Nicole and I am the CEO of Nicole’s Network. WHAT: I am committed to serving others through my personal testimony and I motivate others to consistently work towards self-development in order to find the freedom in the most authentic version of themselves. WHEN: Daily inspiration can be found on my social media pages (handles listed below) with weekly #MotivationalMonday video blogs on my YouTube channel! WHERE: Anywhere you need me to be! WHY: I believe that if my pain can benefit even just one person, it was worth suffering through!
Now that you know a little bit about me, it’s time to jump into why you’re reading this post! Self-love is going to bring you so much closer to the freedom that really comes from embracing every ounce of who you are…flaws and all! In the spirit of transparency I had not always loved myself and didn’t even realize it, so I can understand how insecurities begin to take over your voice and self-hate begins to become your norm. I’m here to tell you this loud and clear: Life CAN be different! The journey towards truly loving yourself is not going to be easy, but it’ll be worth it!
You may be asking in your head “okay…but how?”. Well step one is truly getting to know everything there is to know about yourself! What you like, what you dislike, what makes you sad (and why), what makes you happy, where you want to go, things you’d like to experience, EVERYTHING! Here’s the part that is not going to sound fun but it’s necessary; getting to know yourself is going to require some alone time. You’re going to have to be willing to experience things that others may be interested in doing…go anyway!
I also challenge you to lock yourself in your room and have some intense alone time. No TV, music, clocks, phone (and certainly no social media), no distractions what so ever. Be in the room with just you, God, your bible, and a journal. Spend some time reflecting on life, the decisions you’ve made, what lead you to make those decisions, and what your goals are in your life. If there’s an area of your life that you don’t like, come up with a game plan to improve in those areas. For me, I came out of this alone time with plenty areas I didn’t like about my life but I didn’t allow them to get me down. I simply ranked what areas I felt were most important and created game plans to tackle each one.
Now that you know who you are, it’s time to start loving the person who looks back at you in the mirror every day. Falling in love with yourself is the same process as falling in love with a partner. You have to spend quality time together, get to know the person fully, accept their flaws because it makes them who they are, you’ll have to forgive their mistakes, and be their support system. Now, if we can do this for someone we meet months or even a few years ago…why is it so difficult to do this for the one relationship that has been around the longest?
Often times we find it so difficult to embrace our flaws and forgive ourselves, and some of us cringe at the thought of quality time with just ourselves…but why? I want you to really think about why that may be difficult for you to do with yourself yet we run at the chance to do that with someone we’re interested in dating. For years I absolutely HATED being alone, but I really had to evaluate why and work towards healing the part of me who felt like being alone was punishment or torture. I’m not suggesting you should always be alone (balance is a thing right?) but I’m saying you should enjoy and embrace alone time as much as you would if it was date night.
Once you begin to love yourself more and more, you’ll start to see this change how you interact with others. Keep in mind the journey of self-love is a lifelong journey and will require growth with every changing stage of life. Once you’ll fully owned your truth, no one will be able to hold that truth against you and that’s when you find true freedom.
Anyone struggling with the idea of self-love I offer a 5-week Development Boot Camp offering guidance and accountability in the areas of Spiritual Growth, Professional Development, Financial Freedom, and Physical Health. Visit https://nicolesnetwork.acuityscheduling.com/ to schedule your free consultation! Additionally you can find me on social media at:
Instagram - @TiaraNicole1011
Twitter - @TiaraNicole1011
YouTube – Nicole’s Network
Facebook – Nicole’s Network