As a young girl, I always knew that I wanted to be a mom. I connected a lot more with kids who were younger than me and been that way all my life. It was a dream of mine to be like the Cosby’s or like the family in Family Matters, even on French Prince of Bel-Air. Having a strong, black family unit was important to me and I prayed every day that I would have that.
That day finally came.
I was on my lunch break and I was thinking about the conversation my husband and I had about having kids. I was beyond scared. This is something I wanted all my life now with the idea almost becoming a reality, I froze. I was scared that I was not going to be a good mothers. I was scared I was going to have PPD. I was scared my child would hate me. I was scared my husband and I would argue all the time and be so focused on our child, we forgot about each other. I was scared that we wouldn’t be able to support our child financially. The list goes on and on. But God gave me an amazing man. All he said to me that day was “babe, we’re in this together”. And that’s when our journey began.
I visited my husband at work one day and apparently I was rubbing my stomach the whole time I was there. I didn’t know this until he told me when we got home. His co-workers were telling him that I was giving all the signs that I was pregnant. We didn’t take the test yet so there was no way to know for sure. I knew I wasn’t myself the past few days but I didn’t think anything of it.
It was on a random Saturday and I said to my husband let’s go to target and get a test. We had about 30 mins before they closed so we rushed over there. I remember we bought the test and some blue Gatorade. I don’t think I ever drank something so fast. I really wanted the Gatorade to run through me so I could take the test. The time came when I needed to go use the bathroom and I asked my husband to come with me. Then I took the test.
IT WAS THE LONGEST THREE MINUTES OF OUR LIVES.
The test came read pregnant and we cried. We both wanted a baby and for our journey to finally staff was absolutely mind blowing. After we prayed and thanked God, we of course messaged all of our friends. It was such a wonderful moment and typing about it now, gives me the chills.
From finding out about our child on June 3 to having our baby January 29 2018, was absolutely amazing. I look back sometimes and laugh at how scared I was. Motherhood so far has its challenges but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
To all the couples out there that are scared, go for it.
Your life will change for the better!!