One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up instead of what they have to gain. –Sprinkle of Jesus app
Man, did that hit me like a ton of bricks!
It all started with on a beautiful Wednesday (yesterday) afternoon and I’m watching the new Disney movie Moana and after the movie, I got the sudden urge to check my email. Now all throughout the day, I had a feeling that something was going to happen. It’s very difficult to explain but my intuition was on a 10000. Normally I pray and ask God for guidance but this time, I chose to ignore it. I was having a fantastic day and I didn’t want anything to ruin it. So I checked my email and it was from Ryerson University. I applied there a few weeks ago for a Masters program that aligned perfectly with that I wanted to do in my life. It was only one year and I would be able to do a placement for 6 weeks. But as I read that email, my dream of getting accepted crashed and burned. I didn’t have the minimum grade requirement. I was beyond upset. I was kind of angry with God for a little bit because I prayed about this and did everything by the books. I decreed and declared that I would get it and I was so sure about it.
Clearly God had another plan.
After crying for about 45 minutes, I decided to pray. It wasn’t long but just straight to the point. I asked God for clarity on what he’s trying to do. What is the meaning of this? He knew how badly I wanted this, why take it away? Just repeating, “not my will Father but yours.” And as always, I got my answer.
The past few days I’ve been praying about surrendering to God and just completely trusting in him. I wanted every part of me to be like Christ. That is what he called us to do and I wanted to be that wholeheartedly. I wanted to be a vessel for his kingdom and actually listen when he speaks. God took my prayers and ran with it.
So I figured, ok this was a test. I wanted to surrender and trust him and he took away the one thing I truly wanted. God-1 Nangie-0. I was in such a shock that I didn’t know what else to do but take a nap. I couldn’t mentally and emotionally grasps what happened. I woke up and just went about my day as usual. I felt so numb because I honestly did not what to do or say. I couldn’t even eat! And I absolutely love food.
As the night went on, I found the courage to pray again. I was asking God to speak to me because I needed, no, deserved answers. Why did this happen and so soon? I read my devotion and it focused on Ezekiel 40:1-4 and stated,
Where is this mysterious place called “there”? It could be a place of new revelation (as it was for Ezekiel), a place of fulfillment, of promises realized, or a journey completed.
Your “there,” the place you desire to reach, might be a dream, a hope. Ultimately, for every Christ-follower, “there” is the place beyond death described as heaven. If you are consistent in praying “Not my will be done but yours, Lord” like Jesus did, then you can be certain that whatever is next for you, the Lord will take you there.
This is not fluffy, pie-in-the-sky language, but the language of the Gospel, which meets us where we are and sets about transporting us to a place of glory. What a dramatic, dynamic prospect – to live as sons and heirs, being all that God intends us to be; having all He intends us to have; doing all He purposes for us to do!
Be encouraged, because God has His hand upon you and He is working in your life to take you from “here” to “there.”
After reading that, instant peace. God not only was testing me but he was trying to explain to me where he’s trying to take me. But of course, that wasn’t enough for me.
Before all of this happened, God placed on my heart to read the book of Ecclesiastes. Now I’m not the biggest fan of the OT but I did what God asked and a lot of things didn’t make sense until I got my rejection email. I looked up what the book meant and what each verse entailed so I could fully understand the context. Here are some verses that really stood out to me.
Chapter 7:13 what he made crooked Echoes the earlier proclamation that God makes everything “beautiful,” “good,” or “appropriate” in its time (see 3:11 and note). People cannot change God’s order, regardless of the circumstances (3:14).
Chapter 7:14 For God made one in place of another. People should accept both good and bad situations in life, recognizing that they are dependent on God, not their circumstances
Chapter 7:29 God made mankind upright Probably a reference to the first chapters of Genesis (see 3:11 and note; and 3:20 and note). God created humanity “good,” but Adam and Eve sinned by seeking their own wisdom apart from God (Gen 3:5).
Chapter 8:17 a wise man claims that he knows it. The author is presented as the supreme example of wisdom (1:16; 12:9). If he cannot understand God’s work, no one can. No matter the effort, human wisdom is limited (12:12). Those who claim to understand it may be like Job’s friends who incorrectly offered reasons for Job’s suffering (Job 4–42).
You are probably wondering what this means and what I got from is it that God knows our past, present and future. Be content of where you are now and TRUST that God will take you where you need to go.
To tie everything together, God gave me a revelation through the movie Moana (God has a great sense of humor). If you haven’t watched the movie, there might be some spoilers, sorry. As I closed my eyes, this is what God said:
Patience is created through trials!
Just like the movie Moana we are chosen for a certain path. We come across people who don’t believe in us (Maui) family who want us to be something else (the head chief) others who give us the strength and wisdom to do so (her grandmother). When we don’t trust God and our gut instincts, it could lead to chaos. Just like how the water guided Moana, God does with his children. He will give us the tools we need and only intervene when we ask. Once we achieve our purpose, others will either jump on board or flee. Regardless God will still be glorified. He will take you from point a to point b. Just like Ezekiel, God has his hands on our lives. Sometimes he will show us where to go and other times, he’ll be silent. God speaks to us we just have to listen. When we surrender our will to his, we will always be victorious.
For every level there is a devil and mine devil are my thoughts. The devil attacks the mind and plants seeds that we know deep down are not from God. We can’t be afraid because fear is the opposite of faith and God calls us to believe and have faith in him. Proverbs 3:5
This was at 3 in the morning and I quickly wrote it down on my Notes so I wouldn’t forget. I couldn’t sleep for hours after that. I was just in awe of how amazing God is and how he always answers on time.
There are questions you might ask. Yes I am still hurting and no I don’t know where God is taking me but I know I trust him even when that seems impossible.