In light of Sexual Assault Month, I wanted to speak on my experience. It wasn’t easy, but I know both men and women can heal from this.
All I said was no.
Who knew such a small word could have the biggest impact.
I didn’t want to.
I wasn’t ready.
Why did you make me feel like I was crazy?
Why you make me feel like I was wrong?
Maybe I was.
Maybe all of this was my fault.
It didn’t matter how many times I said no,
You continued to force yourself.
When I finally mustered up the courage to be firm,
You got upset.
Did you know that I cried when you left?
Naked to the truth that you didn’t want me.
I called, texted even messaged you on MSN.
The next day in class you pretended that everything was ok.
You sat there and flirted with my best friend in front of me.
You smiled and joked around with our classmates like you didn’t break me the day before.
I was open with you in every way.
My sweet vulnerability of 16 years was taken for granted.
Trampled on like a bug.
I eventually forgot about you.
Then you messaged me.
Reminiscing about the past brought up dirt I thought I hid.
Once again I cried because you continued to blame me.
It’s kind of funny that you’re named after a book in the Bible yet you used that very thing to shame me.
Thank you for showing me what love is not supposed to be like.
I’m not mad at you anymore.
I’ve let you go.
At 22, I’m free.